Thursday, August 18, 2011

Crickety Parts and Old Lady Farts

Nobody every said growing old was easy.  Every waking day there is another part of your body that starts to get crickety.  Just getting out of bed, you start to sound like a bowl of rice krispie treats.... snap, crackle and pop.  I think my knees are about the worst part- thanks to playing basketball. 

I have talked to the doctor.... really he says, that is normal... welcome to a normal part of aging.  Thanks Doc!  I don't need you poking fun at me getting older.  Anyhow, sound with no pain is fine.

The ol' body doesn't seem to want to stop there either... have you ever noticed how older people have no control over certain bodily functions? Have you ever been behind that elderly person that toots every time they take a step?  Or even better, when out in public and you HAVE to do the unthinkable and use a public potty....*GAG* The elderly I swear they can't pee without letting that toot slip out first. I used to think it was funny.

Not No More....

Sometimes at work I actually get to sit behind my desk for a while... I am not going to lie... When I do get up to do something, I am stiff and the crickety parts start singing their song.  So, here I go snap, cracklin' and popping all the way to the restroom.  It was rather chilly in the office and my knees were pretty stiff, then add those wonderful heels. I finally get into the stall and turn to sit, I strained enough trying to cop a squat... out came that old lady fart.  Thank GOODNESS nobody else was in there at the time.

I am getting old.

But not to old that I can't remember to flush the toilet now every time before I cop a squat..... the flushing noise drowns everything out...

10 comments:

stephanie said...

ahahaha too funny!!

Johanson Family said...

its very true, but the pre pee toot is of all ages I think..my kids do it too.. hah!
Agh, getting older is no fun!

Sarah Kate said...

Oh, Chell, this is fantastic!!! I say OWN IT! The older you get, the more you can mess with people and get away with it. ;o)

A small part of me is looking forward to my 80-year-old self. She's going to be a hoot! ;o)

So you have an aversion to public toilets, too? Sometimes I think I'd rather pee behind a bush! ;o)

Pennie said...

You are too funny. Maybe you can now say that you know it was more than just chance that you became a Scentsy consultant...it was all part of a cosmic plan...and now it has become clear...it was your destiny...to cover over the random toots you were to make in your later years...

*it brings tears to my eyes* it's so beautiful*

Tara said...

awesome! I usually wait for other people to flush 'cause I don't want to be that lady that flushes over and over again.

Amber said...

hahahaha - but isn't the great part of not having control over your functions as an old person is that you're so old you don't even care? Or even REALIZE it's an issue??

I always tell my friends that I hope I'm the senile one, just totally oblivious to the world around me. :)

Stacie said...

My MeeMaw totally toots the whole way she walks and acts completely innocent if you call her on it!

Mom of 12 said...

I hear ya! My grandma passes gas every time she takes a step. It's a good thing her hearing is mostly gone...her nose must not work too well either. But we love her and wouldn't have her any other way.
Sandy

Megan said...

Lol. You're funny!

Brandy@YDK said...

i jumped on the trampoline at g's gymnastics party and peed one myself a little.